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andiee-bedroom · 3 months ago
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a beautiful amazing thing about anders is that when you thought this is the worst part of his lore it somehow manages to get waaaaay worse
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sevenrestdays · 3 days ago
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(Lego Monstrosity Spoilers)
I see a lot of people not fully understand the entire scene with Kai walking into the water with the monster/siren thing where he just slowly accepts his fate rather than suddenly snapping out of it because why would he walk in there in the first place?
The thing is that Kai's entire motivation is his friends, family and the people he cares about. This is shown in the way he is quick to harshly blame himself for things or consider himself inadequate if he could've done something to prevent the injury or loss of someone; the fact he became a ninja only to save Nya; the fact he persevered through the Land of Monsters if only to see his family again.
Without the people he loves, Kai is, honestly, nothing.
There's also the fact that he was not only quite physically fatigued and most likely malnourished, but he was also so clearly mentally exhausted. There's no way he could 100% rationally think (And I say this because I also don't think he would've snapped like he did at Rusty had he been in a better headspace).
The creature in the water seemingly preys on that sort of thing: Creatures with strong desires or the mental fatigue of creatures struck with the loss and grief of a loved one.
• Loss can come in various ways that aren't just death. Kai had lost his home, path and contact with the people he cared about in the Merge, and damn well nearly lost himself too.
We see this same loss and grief thing with Daidan and Rusty. Daidan's child, who was cruelly taken from her all too soon and Rusty's creator who succumbed to the Land of Monsters.
Daidan's reason to live was stripped away from her when her child died. Her purpose was to be a mother, to protect her child. Of course she'd risk herself for one small, slim chance that it was all a bad dream and that her child was safe alongside her.
Kai's reason to push forward was, is and always has been — as I've said — his family and friends. He'd started to reach his limits, and was desperate to see them again. Of course he'd fall for the illusion and walk into the water; he was at wits end. He would do anything to go back.
Now, why did Rusty manage to break free from the spell while Kai and Daidan failed to do so? The answer is simple:
Rusty's creator, while someone he cherished and missed tremendously, wasn't his purpose or his grief anymore. His purpose was to protect, and his grief would've been failing another fire wielder and failing his creator's wishes. He knew his creator wouldn't have wanted him to let others die for no reason.
~
And I for one am glad we got to see Kai not be strong and certain all the time. He ran, he cried, he was scared.
He was so so human.
Yes he was brave and moral, but he also was not a strong unflappable Ninja, he was simply Kai. He had raw fits of frustration and anger, grief and pain, fear and hopelessness. And I think that's so refreshing to see, especially from Kai who hasn't gotten nearly enough time in the 'Emotional Depth' spotlight (In my opinion).
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larkwinged · 22 days ago
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𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄. ── 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐧
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stuck at a crossroads, the only thing they could do was leave it up to fate… but fate had long released them from its clutches, and now the choices they made were theirs and theirs alone.
which path would lead to the best outcome? mulling it over, they stopped in the middle of the golden hour’s streets to gaze up at the gargantuan billboard to their left. a clip of a renowned idol— robin —was flashing on the screen.
her movements were fluid, and her eyes were bright as she sung about breaking free from shackles that once held her down. it sparked something inside them— a sudden ounce of hope and clarity.
they had their answer.
gazing down at the inscription upon their wrist and forearm, their expression softened. how many amber eras had it been of ceaseless wandering the cosmos, searching for a new purpose besides returning home?
how many more amber eras would it take until they finally stepped foot on that dying planet once more?
they looked up, meeting the eyes of the express crew. the crew waited patiently, content smiles on their faces as they awaited their answer.
their tongue felt heavy in their mouth. their lips were dry as they parted, and a few unmistakable words slipped past.
“i’d be honored to join you.”
the crew’s faces brightened. march jumped into the air happily, her eagerness a breath of fresh air amidst the raging storm inside their heart. a rare, soft smile pulled at their lips. it was the first one in thousands of years…
with relaxed shoulders and a newfound, purposeful wrath brewing in their veins, they stepped forward. their grip on their spear tightened.
may this journey lead me starward. lead me home.
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thepandalion · 4 months ago
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yknow
one of my favorite tropes is casual use of OCs in fanfic
like. the guy goes to a convention and makes some friends and they're all OCs. or the guy goes to a new school and all his friends there are OCs. or. any number of things like that
and it sucks that usually the connotation of "OC in fic" is actually about self inserts of the author (which... is fine? typically has bad connotations of being cringe or whatever but I'm currently technically co-authoring a reader insert fic so yknow. cringe is dead) and that the only OC in those types of fics is the self insert. gimme more fics where there's like a dozen OCs seamlessly integrated into the canon characters' lives
#this is specifically about several fics I like#but also at the same time about how badly I want to write a tim drake meta fic where he meets a bunch of metas in europe#and accidentally becomes a popular european hero without his knowledge because to him vigilantism is second nature#((he gets metal bones and like. retractable sharp teeth. like if wolverine but instead of claws teeth))#(((used to go by shrike. when the europe guys figure out that their bossman is in gotham he merges the two identities into rosefinch)))#he's their boss bc they were all like. parts of dangerous situations of various kinds and he helped them#like he helped other metas and nonmetas too its just. these are the ones that went “you can DO THAT??” and joined him#and didnt take no for an answer on whether they can join or not#like Ive got the list its 4 whole metas but then they have their own lives too#...well technically 5 metas because there might be a thing where someone else who goes to college w tim figures him out and goes out too#...which is a merging of 2 tim drakes meta friends aus bc 2 of those characters go by “dove” and they both need to change that#well maybe only the light themed one#the feelingsy one has Reasons to keep dove that arent just “my sleep deprivation could only think of one bird”#anyways shout out to adding random ass OCs of actual importance but who aren't self inserts into fics#I mean 3 of the 5 I made up are based around powers I usually Give my self inserts in my sleepy time stories#like bc empathy I already have and light manipulation is cool and probability sight is fun for plot stuff#(anyways shout out to getting so into the realm of vibing the characters that I accidentally refer to dick grayson as “if birds had claws”)#((which. yknow. court of owls bs. like I thought it and then I went “oh. wait. thats already a thing in canon. huh” so another empathy win)
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hauntingblue · 1 year ago
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chopper has become catholic
#poor chopper :((( also sanji hutting soldiers with zoro lmao#how is chopper soloing perospero AND queen??? wtf someone help him???#nvm sanji is here.... queen taking all the arrows cause sanji applied a tangential force to his neck ahdjahskajskq#helicopter helicopter..... 🚁 🚁 🚁#sanji you tell em.... luffy will rise jusg like jesus christ once again. gum gum amen.#zoro bandaged as a cross represents his unwavering faith in luffy. sanji carrying the cross represents how strong his faith in luffy is.#oh jesus kinemon...... yamato come back...... yamato.......#kinemon you ate this child's father now..... konemon get up!!!! KINEMON!!!!#kinemon dead kiku dead and momo hears luffys voice... he will come back omg of course 🥺🥺🥺 i might have shed a tear.... but god...#i am more defeated than anything.... luffy won't die but kiku.... kinemon.... damn....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1036#YAMATOOO!!! YAMATOOO!!!!! momo to the sea too??... jesus.....#ZEUS SOUL HAS MERGED WITH THE CLIMA TACT????#big mom and kid just yapping..... get to the fighting!!! law joined in!!! another yapper....#toko....... where is hiyori....#ULTI AGAIN???? ZEUS ATTACK!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!! END HER NAMI!!!!!#they found luffy <3 YAMATO GET KAIDO!!!! well get momo....#episode 1037#who designed the heart pirates submarine.... [DEATH]💀😁💀 [DEATH]#luffy is above water and so is momo..... oof.#nami's face naming zeus ajdhssjsbshs ooooh nami's bolts now have redirects akdhakajak YEAAHHH!!!!#tama what a powerhouse heehee#oh yamato..............#episode 1038#hamlet just beating up all his own soldiers...#the snake one too.... also his animal is so funny.... the snake makes both of his legs and also a cunty accessory....#usopp ajdjahjsajaj sanji will save his babygirl... i know it.... YEAAHHH!!!!#CHOPPER TURNED EVEN SMALLER AKDHAKEJSK
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random-xpressions · 6 months ago
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He's too mingled with me for me to have any identity of my own, I represent more of him than myself...
Random Xpressions
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polling-sonic-fans · 11 months ago
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Polling Sonic Fans for their opinions on all manner of things. Share good questions to indicate what you want asked. Submissions open.
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idlingmoons · 2 months ago
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wait omg if i do all my ref sheets soon i can throw the new batch in there too
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amberinn · 2 months ago
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I'm planning on doing a shrimpo only run, and every round we survive I'll say "shrimp check" at the elevator
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sirbird · 2 years ago
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Miguel as Johnny cage 🤭🤭
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mishy-mashy · 1 year ago
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Ray (BNHA Resistance OC) incorrect quotes
(Context: Ray is his codename. An OC forced into joining the Resistance after Bruce accidentally concussed him. His Ability was useful, so they wanted him)
~
Ray: I don’t have a New Year’s resolution
Yoichi: You could relax a bit more
Bruce: You could take a bath.
Kudo: Don’t be such a bitch.
Ray: Okay DAMN, SHIT.
-
Kudo: We've decided to adopt.
Ray, still concussed: Congratu-
Bruce, slamming recruitment papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.
-
Bruce: Before I forget, do you have any special requests?
Ray: Death penalty.
Bruce: Ray-kun, it’s just about living accommodations.
Ray, whispering: Please kill me.
-
Bruce: Why did you dress up as each other for this mission?
Ray: Leader is the scariest thing I could think of.
Kudo: Ray told me I should pick the dumbest disguise possible.
-
Kudo: Ray, I think you need glasses.
Ray: Leader, my vision is fine. Look.
Ray: *points at Kudo* Leader.
Ray: *points to Bruce* Bruce.
Ray: *points to Yoichi* All For One.
-
Yoichi: When I cried about my brother to Kudo, he hugged me and told me he'd carry my feelings into his battles
Ray: The first time Leader was ever nice to me, I thought he was a fake. It was such a disaster that I avoided him for like a week.
-
Kudo: The first time Yoichi opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
Kudo:
Kudo: I love him so much.
-
Bruce: It's locked. Can you open it?
Ray: Yeah-
Kudo: *kicks in the vault door*
-
Kudo, on the way back from rescuing Yoichi: You need to be more careful.
Ray, who was forced into this: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-
-
Kudo: Ray finally learned his gun had a safety lock, but he assembled a rifle last week.
Bruce: This reminds me of the Ray who couldn’t open a tabbed can, but can break into any lock.
Kudo: This is the very same Ray.
-
Bruce: This is the best idea I've ever had in my life!
*Many years later*
Kudo, to Bruce: Letting All For One take Ray's Quirk was the worst idea you’ve ever had in your life.
#his search quirk was the bane of all the vestiges when it came to dealing with AFO#because no matter what they did AFO was always watching and ready#since ray's quirk is a pain in the ass they decide ray is the same despite never meeting him#someone worth disliking a bit#then shinomori is taken by tomura and meets ray in AFO-vestige-land#and yeah ray terrifies him#shinomori: why is my quirk not activating with him#IF BRUCE JUST GAVE OFA TO RAY THEN THE FIGHT WOULDNT HAVE BEEN AS HARD#his quirk in vague terms lets him see though things and outlines life forms that he can kinda bookmark#the limit to range is just about how much damage the eyes are willing to take. which AFO easily circumvents with regeneration quirks#as for ray well hes blind within five months of joining the Resistance#since AFO stole it from ray he also ended up stealing ray's existing “bookmarks”#to be fair bruces idea wasnt “give AFO Ray's Ability” but it ended up happening in the chaos and they didnt realize until later#the “bookmarks” of yoichi kudo and bruce overlap and combine. then theyre passed onto the OFA holders because they “merged” with#the first three. so. AFO can find the current OFA user no matter what. because somewhere in them they carry the first Three#bruce considered giving ray OFA. but he didnt. and thats what led to AFO taking it for himself. so.#bnha tags are something of a nightmare in which i hit the tag limit too fast#bnha#spoilers#oc#incorrect quotes#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bruce#kudo#yoichi shigaraki#one for all users#all for one#one for all#afo
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stoicmike · 2 years ago
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Sure, we’ve had our differences in the past — but all that is behind us now. -- Michael Lipsey
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jheselbraum · 2 years ago
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Nintendo is stupid here's my new better timeline:
Skyward Sword
Legend of Zelda
Adventure of Link
Minish Cap
Four Sourds
and it's sequel Four Swords Adventures
A Link to the Past
Link's Awakening (edited, whoops)
A Link Between Worlds
Ocarina of Time
The Hero is Defeated Timeline: Oracle games and Triforce Heroes that's it.
Child Timeline: Majora's Mask and Twilight Princess, as usual, easy peasy, for once no notes Nintendo
Adult Timeline: Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass, and Spirit Tracks once again pretty easy, no notes
11. Breath of the Wild 12. Tears of the Kingdom
#bluh bluh ''the imprisoning war in alttp was oot'' no it wasn't#''only minish cap and skyward sword happened before oot'' incorrect by#grouping all the games without a master sword in it#at the beginning of the timeline#then you set up why the hylians think a GROUP of people called THE HYLIA created the master sword#instead of a goddess CALLED Hylia#it also ties forgetting the master sword is a thing to the overall decline in worshiping hylia directly#and then by having alttp in the history of ALL the remaining zelda games#you pretty firmly establish that they didn't forget it existed again and#then that makes the whole ''hey we've got this down pat we know to look out for two blonde children who like puzzles'' thing in botw#a lot smarter writing#instead of just nintendo ignoring the hero is defeated timeline and using it as their dump game timeline#''but there's no master sword in triforce heroes'' triforce heroes doesn't take place in hyrule it gets a pass#we can also use the zonai as a convenient excuse to re-merge the timeline if you really want to get creative with it#since they're kind of demigods and have their own temple of time that is drastically different from any of the hylian ones we've seen#and the hylians zora gerudo and gorons and presumablly the sheikah were all running around before rauru ''founded'' hyrule#wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to join together like three different timelines two of which have a dubious relationship#with hyrule as a concept existing
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katfreaks-hidyhole · 2 years ago
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The free pulls for 1000 Heroes event!
The tickets mostly got into the Geneology/Thracia vibe :3
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bizarrelovetriangel · 3 months ago
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n i g h t m a r e s.
angst with comfort. they have a nightmare where they lost you.
sylus
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You were in the N109 Zone for hunters business, and he only found out from Mephisto. Sylus got on his bike and rushed over to your location to demand answers. Why are you there? Why are you alone? Why didn't you tell him anything?
Once he saw you in the middle of a battleground surrounded by unconscious bodies and wrapping a bandage around your left arm, Sylus's breath hitched.
"So the kitten got scratched, despite how ferocious she is." He reached out to help you with your bandage, but you took a step back and frowned at him.
"Don't touch me."
"Oh?" He raised a brow at your cold tone. "Woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, sweetie?"
You gritted your teeth and turned away from him.
"Stay away from me, Sylus."
Confusion flashed in his eyes. You didn't look like you're in a joking mood, and the way you looked at him with empty eyes felt like a stab to his chest.
"What's wrong?" he asked carefully, not taking a single step towards you just in case you start running away. "Have I done something to piss you off?"
"Done something?" you laughed bitterly. "What haven't you done?"
No, there wasn't just emptiness in your eyes. There was disgust. Repulsion, directed at him. You haven't looked at him in that way for a long time, and he was reminded of how much he hated it.
"Sweetie, let's talk -"
He made the mistake of reaching out to touch you, so you slapped his hand away and jumped back.
"I said stay away from me! Don't.... don't talk to me anymore, don't follow me, just don't.... just stay out of my life! I don't want to be with a monster like you!"
A monster.
So, that's what it was.
He can't say he was surprised.
He always had a feeling that one day, you'll come to your senses and ask yourself, how could you ever love someone like him?
Looks like you've finally woken up from whatever spell he put on you. Now, you want nothing to do with him.
"Stay away from me." You took even more steps back, your figure was starting to merge with the shadows. "Goodbye, Sylus."
His feet were stuck to the bloodstained ground as he watched you disappear in his life forever.
Suddenly, he became aware of how cold the air is, and how quiet it is around him. His heart twinged, as if he'd been pierced by multiple daggers. His body felt numb and empty.
Standing became difficult, and his eyes felt like anchors that demanded to be shut. He gasped for air as he feels his chest tightening, but he only felt even more drowned.
He couldn't breathe.
He couldn't move.
He wanted go run after you, but bloodied hands had sprung out of nowhere and started pulling his feet deeper in the ground.
"Sylus..."
"...."
"Sylus."
His eyes opened and squinted from the setting sun's light that slipped past the curtains of his bedroom windows.
"Hey. Are you okay?"
He sat up and frantically scanned his surroundings. He ran a hand through his hair and felt all the sweat that were on his forehead.
"Sylus?"
His eyes slowly met yours, and they lingered for a long time. It's as if he's waiting and searching for something.
"You had a nightmare, right?" You looked at him with concern. "Are you okay? I'm gonna go get you a glass of water. I'll be back - "
"No, wait."
Sylus caught your hand as you tried to leave. His thumb caressed the back of your hand and observed it for a moment before taking a deep breath.
"Just stay here with me. I just...need you here."
"Okay." You sat still next to him and let him fiddle with your hands, as it seems to be giving him comfort. "What happened? Are you okay?"
Sylus tangled his fingers against yours, keeping his eyes on your joined hands. "You're not...." He paused for a second as he felt his throat drying up nervously. "You're not repulsed by me, are you?"
"What?"
"You know what l've done.... What I do, and who I am. Do you still... Do you still...."
You were quick to understand what he was trying to ask, and what he might have dreamt about.
"I love you." You looked into his eyes that seems to lack its usual life and confidence. "I know what you do and who you are, and I still love you, Sylus. Whatever happened in your dream.... it's not real."
He closed his eyes and let your words sink in deep in his heart, replaying them to forget about the painful words you threw at him in his nightmare.
It wasn't real.
What's real is you, in front of him, holding his hands and you telling him that you love him.
What's real is you caring about him and sticking by his side even when he's feeling vulnerable.
Sylus' silent reply came with a lingering kiss on your forehead. He wrapped one arm around your shoulders and guided you to lie back down. Once your back is flat against the soft mattress, Sylus pulled you close to him.
Even though he didn't say anything, you felt his gratitude with the way he embraced you with such warm, gentle, and secure arms.
As he closed his eyes, he continued to replay the words you told him.
At last, he was gifted with a peaceful dream.
///////
xavier
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Surrounded by speck of lights, Xavier spun you around as you and him dance slowly underneath the stars.
You two were on your way home after a dinner date when you heard music blasting from a nearby concert venue. Live music echoes throughout the park with the big water fountain, completely empty since it's already quite late.
Xavier gazed at the way your face lit up as you laugh after suddenly losing balance and almost stepping on his feet.
"You didn't accidentally drink alcohol tonight, did you?" He held your hands tightly to keep you stable.
"Of course not! I just got a little dizzy, that's all."
"Maybe you just need to sleep more." he says half-jokingly as he rested his hands on your waist. "Instead of leaving the bed so early in the morning, you should just wait for me to wake you up. I'll be your alarm clock."
"Pfft. If that's the case, we might be sleeping forever." You cupped his face with your hands as he looks at you with bright eyes.
"That doesn't sound too bad." he whispers, leaning closely to brush his lips against yours. "I don't mind, as long as you're next to me. We have all the time in the world."
Just as he closed the distance between your lips, you suddenly froze and moved back.
"Hmm? What's - "
You let go of him and put a hand on your chest, right over your heart.
"It... it hurts..."
Your face suddenly turned pale.
"I - can't b-breathe..."
Xavier felt his world stop as your legs gave out. His arms stopped your knees from hitting the ground, and his body became numb after feeling how clammy your skin had gotten.
"X-xavier...."
He found himself struggling to take a breathe, too.
He was petrified.
He didn't know what to do.
It was happening again. He was losing you all over again, just like in every life time he had with you. Just when he thought he finally got it right this time, just when he thought he'd get his happy ending...
He couldn't lose you.
Not now. Not again.
He has to do something.
"Xavier..."
His vision suddenly darkened. You vanished completely, and he couldn't feel your body at all. It's like you'd turned into dust.
"No..."
"Xavier..."
"Where are you?" he cried in panic, desperately looking around for you yet not a single light welcomed his eyes. He called out your name repeatedly, but your voice was fading away.
"Where....."
"Xavier!"
And in an instant, a flash of light embraced him. He opened his eyes and the first thing he sees is you, sitting next to him and looking at him with wide, worried eyes.
You were wearing pajamas rather than the fancy dress he last saw you in. There is no fountain, and you were not at a park. You two are in his apartment, in his bedroom.
"You...." His heart was racing as he looked at you for a long time. "You're..... you're...." His throat felt tight and dry.
You took his hands and held them tightly. "I'm right here, Xavier." You pulled him into your arms and rested his face against your chest. "Everything is fine."
He closed his eyes and exhaled as he heard the sound of your stable heartbeat.
You're here and you're okay.
"I thought...." Xavier groans and shakes his head. He'd rather not recall that nightmare. "I'm... I'm glad you're here."
You held him tighter, feeling his body's warmth returning. "I won't go anywhere."
You took the hint that he didn't want to talk about what got him shaking and breathing heavily in his sleep. Sometimes, it's good to talk about nightmares, and sometimes it's better to just let it fade away.
"It's around five in the morning." you told him. "The birds are gonna start chriping soon. Do you wanna step out with me to see them?
"Yeah." he smiled against your chest. "I'd like that."
////////
rafayel
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It was his own fault that you ran away from him. He was feeling sick, particularly due to his Lemurian nature, and he blurted out that he needed some time away from you for a while, right when you were trying to take care of him. He was overwhelmed and frustrated, and he told you something he didn't mean.
And now, you're gone.
The house and the beach have never felt so empty and lonely.
He couldn't recall when was the last time he'd seen you and heard your voice.
Rafayel finds himself sitting in front of an unfinished painting of the one he loves. He'd memorized the expression you wear when you'd admire the sunset with him after collecting sea shells. He painted that precious memory just so he can see your face outside of his head.
He wondered what you would think about your portrait once he shows it to you.
He waited and waited.
But you never came back.
Rafayel couldn't remember. Has it been weeks? Months? Years? Did another lifetime pass? Will he have to search for you again?
Of course, he'd do it. He'll wait for you and search for you for as long as he needs. For as long as he can.
But he really thought this lifetime would be it. He thought, maybe, you won't lose each other this time. He had everything he wanted, and yet...
You left him again. You'd given up on him.
If only he could turn back time, he'll find a way to show his true feelings. He'd find a way to keep you close and never let you go.
If only....
"What a mess you are."
"....huh....?"
That was your voice.
His eyes snapped wide open to see you looking down on him. He was sitting down on a chair and his head was down on a table, on top of the unfinished painting of you.
He had fallen asleep with paint all over his face and clothes, though he didn't care about that.
Was it all just a dream?
Was he given another chance?
"You... Are you really here?"
You tilted your head at the sound of his weak voice. "I am. Mostly, I'm here to check up on you because I thought you wouldn't sleep. I'm glad to learn that I was wrong. You were talking in your sleep."
He was saying some things in Lemurian, so you didn't understand. Though, he clearly looked upset, so you contemplated whether to wake him up or not. Nonetheless, his eyes opened at the sound of your voice, no matter how quiet you tried to be.
"You're here....Even though I...." he looks away, feeling his stomach churning with discomfort. "Even though I pushed you away...." He looked down at the portrait he'd been working on. "In my dream, you left and didn't come back. I was waiting for you, but you weren't coming. I thought I wasn't going to see you again, and I was.... I was scared."
You felt your heart drop as his voice quivered. You stepped towards him and pulled him into a hug, catching him by surprise.
"Rafayel..." He buried his face in your stomach. "I'm not going to leave you. Sure, you can be a little dramatic and moody. Sometimes, you overwhelmed and frustrated. Sometimes, you'd want space, and that's perfectly okay."
He wrapped his arms around you tightly.
"I couldn't resist staying away from you for more than five days." you laughed. "That's why I'm here. To see how you are."
"I..." he looks up at you and flashes you a smile. "I'm feeling better now that you're here."
"Good." You caressed his face and wiped a speck of paint that was on his chin. "Now let's get you cleaned up."
"Okay!"
///////
zayne
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Zayne exited a patient's room just in time to hear the commotion out in the hallway. He could hear Yvonne giving out orders. She's trying to sound calm, but he could tell that she was shaken by something.
He took five steps right before an unconscious body was brought in a stretcher.
His eyes noticed the hunters' uniform first, torn and covered in blood. Then, there was the gaping wound on your stomach. Lastly, your cold, paling face.
Zayne dropped the clipboard that was in his hand. His feet acted on their own and rushed to your side, shakily calling out your name.
His hands shook and his vision blurred.
"Doctor Zayne!" Yvonne came up next to him. "She's - "
"I'm her primary doctor. I'll -"
He was stopped from entering the room that you was taken into.
Instead, Greyson came running in, but not before giving Zayne a look of sympathy. "I'll do all that I can to save her."
"I'm going in too."
Yvonne put a hand on his shoulder.
"Doctor Zayne... She's going to be okay. We can trust Doctor Greyson."
His breath comes out raggedy as he tries to calm his pounding heart in his tightening chest. "But I'm her physician. I'm the one that should be treating her."
"I'm sorry, Doctor Zayne."
He knows the rules, yet he found them hard to follow at the moment.
Doctors are generally not supposed to operate on anyone that's close to them, such as a family member or a partner, due to several complicated ethical matters.
But still, he should be the one to treat you.
What was the point of him becoming a doctor if he couldn't save your life?
"Let me...."
"We're losing her!" someone exclaims from your room.
Zayne felt his vision spinning. He tried to get to you, but his legs stopped working.
Why couldn't he move?
He needed to see you. To save you.
Move.
Save her.
There's no time.
Move.
Move, or else she's going to....
"Zayne!"
His body felt as if it had been pulled out of a frozen lake. He gasped and shot up from his seat, finding his legs working perfectly. He's inside his home office and he had taken a nap right on his desk.
"Zayne! Are you okay? I heard you screaming so I -" you failed to finish your sentence as you were suddenly pulled in his arms.
Your feet lifted from the ground while you wrapped your arms around his back. Zayne rested his face against your neck and took a deep breath and a slow exhale, tickling your skin.
From where your hands are, you could feel him slightly trembling. He must have had a horrible nightmare.
"I never want to feel that again." he whispered, pressing you tighter against him. "Please, don't go."
You ran your hands up and down his back. "I'm not going anywhere."
Zayne didn't leave your side for the rest of the night.
////////
caleb
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After all these years, he couldn't believe he finally got what he wanted. You're by his side, not just as your childhood friend, but as your lover.
Out of all the people, you chose him.
It felt too good to be true.
And maybe that's why you were once again taken from him.
One day, he received a call from your boss. Apparently, you had encountered someone from Ever and got in a dangerous fight. You were taken to a hospital, so Caleb instantly left Skyhaven to see you.
He entered your room with a basket full of apples. "Pip-squeak, you look terrible."
You stared at him with a deadpanned expression.
You had bandages wrapped around the top of your head, since that was where your main injury is. Aside from that, you had minor bruises and scratches on your arms.
"Tough crowd today." He sat on the chair and held your left hand.
You pulled away quickly.
"Huh? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
You blinked at him with confusion. "....Who are you?"
"...." Caleb lets out a chuckle, even though his heart had already dropped. "That's not funny."
The look on your face told him that you weren't in the mood for jokes either.
"You.... you don't remember me?"
You shook your head. "I'm sorry, but I can't remember..."
His entire world felt like it came crashing down.
All the memories he'd desperately tried to preserve. All the moments you'd spent together, from when you were kids that were nothing more than lab rats, to when you both started living with your grandma, to when you reunited after the incident, and to when you started to become lovers. All of it is gone.
You're looking at him with nothing but confusion in your eyes.
You didn't even want to hold his hand.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault." Behind his pained smile, he clenched his fists even though he could no longer feel them.
This is all Ever's fault.
He is going to make them pay for hurting you and taking away all of your precious memories, stripping you of your identity.
"While you recover, I'll look after you." he told you while holding an apple towards you. "If you need anything, just let me know."
"Okay."
Despite your reply, you never came to him for help. Even when your injuries got better, you refused his offers to look after you and keep you company.
You never asked about your old memories. You weren't even trying to regain them. It's like you'd turned into a new person, and he had become a stranger to you.
You were his entire world, but he was nothing but a fragment of your past that you no longer know and care for. He was nothing to you.
It should be fine, right?
You're alive. That's the most important part.
You were safe, and he's going to make sure you stay safe, even if he has to stay in the shadows.
So, why does it hurt so much?
Why did getting out of bed feel pointless? Why does he check his phone, knowing he hasn't crossed your mind at all? Why did his shoulders feel heavier and his chest tighter?
He just wanted to see you. He wanted to hear your voice, calling his name to show him something silly so he can laugh with you.
He wouldn't mind if you get angry with him for all the stupid things he'd done. As long as you know he's there, as long as you look at him, that's enough for him.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Caleb almost fell out of bed at the alarm ringing in full blast.
"What....?"
He wasn't in his dark, lonely room in Skyhaven. He's in your bright and colorful apartment, on your warm bed.
And there was someone humming from outside the room.
Caleb slowly got out of bed and followed the source of the humming that had his heart racing and swelling, warming up his body that had been feeling cold and empty just seconds ago.
He enters the kitchen and finds you cooking breakfast.
Suddenly, breathing became ten times easier.
You yelped as you were hugged from behind. "Caleb! Don't scare me like that!"
He smiled against your shoulders. "It's you that scared me to death, pip-squeak."
"Me? What do you mean?!"
"Nothing." He pressed his lips on your right cheek. "So, what's for breakfast?"
It was just a nightmare. It wasn't real, and it's never going to be real. He'll make sure of it. He will never let anything happen to you for as long as he lives.
All he ask for in return is for you to keep looking at him with the same light of love and happiness in your eyes.
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svbhuman · 1 year ago
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idk man. i should be humble and whatnot but i have to defend myself
#strrambles#ok first we can all agree i had noble intentions yeah?#right then. did i do plenty things wrong? well no#my only mistakes i argue were pushing my responsibility onto jakob#and letting narzissenkreuz take over#first of all carter was fully justified. he was in full agreement. we had appropriate intentions.#and i regret it? mm maybe. without him we couldnt have continued our research.#(and here i must say people look back on these actions with a lens from the present. they judge us because they know the archon would#save the day. but we didnt know that.)#the foundation of the ordo was once again justified. we were open with our ideas#we showed them the revelations. which were accurate at that time#and offered a utilitarian method that would allow us to preserve everyone#we were open with the idea#and they joined.#we knew only how to dissolve and merge#and were aiming for a solution after the mass dissolutions#which im sure we could have achieved and as a result reseparated post disaster#though i guess i cant speak of what ifs here#but look those were the intentions and none were: hey lets live in a hivemind forever!#that being said#my major mistake was dissolving myself#i know ascension in that way requires you to strip all psyche and ego and the freud shit#but i overlooked just how unethical narzissenkreuz would be without those things#and arghghgg. i dont know man. though narz isnt me because i die with my psyche#i have an obligation over my creation#and he — or they — messed things up badly.#and yeah by that dissolution i also indirectly caused my own brother to take such a dark route#the lengths he went to just to revive me was. frankly very cool of him. in my lens. but also terrible for himself and terrible for everyone#else. like if id just held off on that dissolving part and let myself figure things out for a bit longer#if my dissolution even WORKED in the first place
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